Monday, May 14, 2012

This could be helpful.




  "the book "mentalizing" should be required reading for everybody on earth.
it's like a brain owners manual." 
http://narcissisticpersonalitydisoderfamilyforum.yuku.com/topic/583/a-book-that-helped-recovery#.T7ErH8VOTAk

Hi,
I thought I would post about a book that helped us greatly here at our house recover from a life of abuse from a narcissistic family.
My wife began suffering panic attacks and generalized anxiety. her whole family was a bizarre pit of NPD and her father had post traumatic stress disorder from war.

the book is "Mentalizing in clinical practice" by Jon G Allen et all

the theory in the book is SO helpfull it has changed our lives.
basically its about getting your feelings out of the pre thinking part of your brain and up into your frontal cortex for proper processing.
It explains how disconnected parenting and the way narcissists project onto children therefore not really seeing who the child is
leaves you without this ability to "mentalize" properly.

the mentalizing idea comes out of attachment theory.
The whole thing dovetails really well with Dialectical behavior therapy as well.

these two therapiies are for borderline personality disorder which some people say is a form of PTSD.
mild borderline type problems seems to describe my wifes problems to a tea.

thankfully my wife was the youngest and got ignored as an infant so she was traumatized but not turned into a narcissist herself.
as she got older she became the family joke (because she was normal and empathetic) and served as sort of the families psychic trash bin for their projections.

narcissists because they have to feel perfect have to project negative things about themselves onto others.

the book explains how all these projections get processed as sort of alien parts of the self.
these alien parts of the self then need to be externalized. resulting in a sort of disorganized sense of self.

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